My father used reverse psychology on me for YEARS….even when I thought I was clever enough to figure him out, he always got me. We had a piano in the house from the day I was born, and I always asked to play it. My father would say thing like “Not yet, you’re too short” or “You’re hands are too small”. In reality I could have started piano by 4 years old (and I’m sure I was asking by then!), but my parents made me wait until I was 9 years old. And even then I was the one who sought out my own piano teacher!
Well, my father always wanted me to play – and he got his wish!
Reverse psychology is a very powerful tool. Below you’ll find some examples and different ways to address common issues at practice time suggested by John Aschenbrenner, a Private piano teacher in the NY area 25 years.
**Remember, these tactics can easily be adjusted for any instrument or voice!! Just stay clever. 🙂
Kid: “I DON’T WANT TO PLAY!”
Parent: “Neither do I. Let’s not.”
…Say what?? The child will be very surprised. Tell them there is a secret device that will explode or emit a terrible smell if they play Middle C (or any note!), so they won’t want to play that, will they? Block them physically from playing and beg them not to hit the Middle C button. Once they play that, add other keys and claim it’s a secret spy code. Sooner or later they will have played enough notes for a song. Put it all together, and you have a child making music in spite of their stated desire for the opposite. Now it’s a game, now they are on their instrument and will probably want to go through their lesson material and other things. Parent wins!
Kid: “I don’t like this song.”
Parent: “Neither do I, it’s a terrible song!”
Now, you can go a step further and ask “What’s a great song you like and want to play?” Be prepared to play four dozen songs until you find one the child likes. Sometimes, if the book they’re reading from is old or discardable, I tear out the page they don’t like, which always startles them. Find a song the child likes and then be clever enough to disguise learning it as a game.
Here are a few further rules or pointers:
- No matter what happens, it is a cause for amusement! If you are disappointed the child didn’t practice, express it wryly, humorously, in a way the child can understand, and with no tone of guilt.
- Always go with their suggestion. For example, if a child idly plays a bit of a song by themselves it means they are interested in it. Drop the lesson material for a minute and work on that song and see where it leads. Often you can find a way to use the song as a gateway into the week’s assignment.
- Try never to leave a lesson with the child feeling guilty or down. A child remembers how the lesson felt emotionally. Leave them feeling that you had a fun time, tried to learn a few things, and wouldn’t mind trying it again.
Children at the piano are sometimes expecting drudgery. Reverse psychology demands that, instead, they get absurd, uplifting fun. Train them to expect that, and you have a budding pianist.
source: http://pianobynumber.wordpress.com/reverse-psychology-and-childrens-piano/